Making yourself obsolete...

So, I decided to make a list for all husbands, and otherwise, to take note of. I was lounging in the living room with Rain yesterday while the kids were at school and he was teaching me something new... (ha! put your mind in the gutter, didn't I??)

No. It wasn't anything like that. He was teaching me to re-load shotgun shells. Hence forth, here's a list, guys, of things your wife or girlfriend probably has no interest in learning unless she asks. Besides, once she does learn a lot of stuff like this... Well, you're making yourself obsolete... Oh, you say, we'd still need you in the bedroom... While there is nothing like the real thing, there are some pretty kick ass "toys" out there... They would do a fine job of holding someone over until the "real thing" came along... ha!

Unless she shows a genuine interest, your wife/girlfriend does not need to know how to...

General...

• Re-load shotgun shells. (Obviously, this is first b/c I just learned how)


• Replace the "compresser start relay" in the air condition box outside so her kids don't suffocate in July


• Fix a damaged dryer vent


• Do anything with a pilot light on the water heater or how to light the pilot on the other wierd unit in the attic that makes a lot of noise so you can have heat in the dead of winter


• Take care of any "assembling" of anything in the house, ie - futons, desks, soda tables, etc

Concerning cars...

• She should never have to go to an auto parts store and argue with the guy about how he's trying to sell her something that's not a real "idler belt pulley" or some other part. God forbid, she take her digital camera in the store with a picture she's taken just to prove the guy wrong.


• She does not need to know what a "serpentine" belt is or what exactly happens to the car when that belt breaks


• She does not need to know how to do a brake job


• She does not need to know "in theory" how to replace a radiator. It's so freakin' easy... Why the hell do they charge so much?


• If her cigarette lighter stops working, she should not know it's the fuse; or how to replace it


• She does not need to know what an engine mount looks like, much less, help install one


• She does not need to know how to take the radiator cap off and put water in the radiator when the car is still running

I'm just sayin... I'm not bitchin or anything. Honestly, I think it's quite funny... I mean, you force her to learn how to do this stuff.... You better still be able to make her laugh like hell or something...

However, Joaquin, if you're reading this and need a brake job blow job, I'll be right over - haha. Sorry, I couldn't resist...

Off the subject, if you haven't checked this guy out yet, you should. He had a funny piece about squirrels the other day. In honor of that post and I told him I'd find this picture, here's the meanest ass squirrel you could ever come across... He lives in my parent's yard... My mom wanted to know why he was so mean... A squirrel with NO cover... However, I would love to have caught him and tamed him to be my pet...

Speaking of pets, I've found my next pet... Check this OUT!! This web site on Savannah Cats is awesome and I'm in love... Apparently, they breed Serval wild cats into domestic cats... Check this picture out of somebody's cat in CA... You put these guys on leashes and walk them around and teach them how to fetch.

Anyway, after I get a job, I'm going to get a big ass cat and drive around in a bad ass convertible... This little town will never be the same... Ha..ha..ha..ha.. (evil laugh)

Worn slap out...

Ok... Considering how long my posts usually are... Consider this your break. I had a fantastic weekend with my three guys. I'm going to let pictures show how outstanding our weekend was... however, I started out today tired. And the backyard has not been cut in a couple of weeks. The kids started school, I started school and I've been trying to get myself back together.

After about 2.5 hours in the back yard, 8 lawn bags full of grass (because bagging is easier than raking), and one trip to get MORE gas for the lawn mower, I'm pretty much one very tired and very pissed off b!tch. Rain is out playing "get the dove field ready" at his buddy's farm today. Yea for you... Cause, yeah, come on, we gotta shoot them there birds outta the sky next Monday. Whatever. Enough ranting... It's probably the birth control pills they're trying to get me situation on... It's wreaking complete havoc with me... Anyway... Here's how fabulous my weekend was...

First, we met Ronald McDonald... He gave us crazy straws and crayons...

Here's a quick conversation btw. Born Cool and Ronald...

BC: (leans in and whispers) That's not really your hair right? It's a clown wig or something...

RM: Actually, you're right. It is a clown wig. And see this make-up? It's clown make-up. I think you should look up clowns on the internet.

BC: Ok. I'll do that. But, if I do, will you give me that iPod you're giving away? I don't have one yet.

RM: I'll see what I can do. I think you're mom wants to take a picture now.

To keep in step with the time order, we then drove to soccer practice. On the way, we saw something spectacular. The nearest college's mascot is a tiger. Well, we passed him. Him and his 6 police car/sherriff car brigade. It's the coolest thing. They cart this tiger around in this mobile cage. He just sits in his cage, all majestic and stuff. It is a cool site to see. Next time, I'll pull a u-turn and follow him home. I'll probably get arrested, but that's ok. I'll know where he lives.

Super Chick and Bear came over that afternoon... Here's Bear. He's the cutest thing ever... We went to Old Navy and S.C. bought the kids fries...

Que Sunday... We went to church with my parents. Then we went to Ihop... Born Cool talked about pie the whole time... and how rich peanut butter is... What the? Anyway, Animal Planet shows up in the "big city" (like 30 min away)... I was really excited when I heard about it; but unfortunately, it turned out to be kinda second rate. However, I got some good pictures...

See that snake? I tried to steal her, but she wouldn't fit in my purse... Damn. I would have loved to put her in my tub... It would have scared the piss out of Rain and I would have laughed and laughed...

Well, so... I ran my mouth... At least I had a lot of pictures...

My (Un)Spectacular World...

Well, I was tagged with this whole, "what's unspectacular about you" thing... Which, on the posts I've read so far, it's chocked full of highly intersting information... Georgie saw fit to tag me and I learned some awesome stuff about her- like how she can "will" songs on the radio because of her "sixth sense"... I read Lipstick's six things and learned that she has ACTUALLY skydived... Amazing girls, people... I'm glad Lipstick did the whole "I don't know what a 'meme' thing is"... I totally would have asked that... Anyway, here goes, from the bottom up. You know I love to talk and love to type. Some of them tie in together. If I lose you, that's okay. You can come back. What's totally (un)spectacular about the FlowerGirl...

1. I was very prissy as a little girl. However, I moved to the country; and when certain kids would come over (one of which was a really blonde headed boy), we would play "Dukes of Hazard". I was, of course, Daisy Duke. But, I learned to become bothered by the fact that I wasn't near as tan as she was. Any rate, I made a fine, but plausible mud mixture and would cover my legs from my ankles to my upper thighs. It would dry, BAM... Daisy, you would have been proud. My mom sure was when I'd walk through the house...

2. I have an almost sick facination for vampires. Two of my things involve them. I've always been a vampire for Halloween. And. a damn good one at that. I figured out in the past ten years why. My pediatric dentist decided my mouth was too small for "all those teeth"... Quick, go to a mirror. Look at your front two teeth, then those pretty even edged teeth on either side, then your canines (otherwise know as incisors). Got it? He pulled the pretty even edged teeth. The permanent ones. So, my teeth go, two front teeth then incisors. Man, put some vampire caps on those babies and watch out. I'm out for blood.

3. On that note, I had an awesome friend in college. We pulled all kinds of stupid stuff together. He would do this awesome impression of the first night he met me. I loved him. He was like a brother. Anyway, he loved that I loved vampires. So, one night in February, we went out to eat at a very popular burger joint. I dressed as an "undercover" vampire. Paled face, dark eye makeup, the caps on the teeth, whole nine yards. Needless to say, we'd cleared the restaurant by 9 p.m. Scared the crap out of everyone in that dining area.

4. I survived the most spectacular car accident anyone could be in. My first car was a convertible - a red one with a black top. Driving back to my dorm from my parent's house one night, my heart quit and I blacked out. The car first hit head on a cluster of trees that deployed the air bag and threw me in the back seat (no seatbelt, which saved my life, crazy huh?) Anyhow, the car then rolled down, oh, probably at least a 30 foot ravine - with me in the backseat flopping around. Then, it decided to land upside down. I woke up, and obviously, all the windows were gone. I crawled out, tried to find my purse in the pitch black. Managed to find the awesome black leather biker jacket I had just gotten out of laway and ran down the highway almost 2 miles to the nearest house. Did. Not. Break. A. Nail. When the firemen and paramedics arrived at the scene, I hear the car was already on fire. Two words. Damn. It. Tell me my guardian angel doesn't work overtime...

5. Speaking of convertibles, I've learned that you like them, you don't like them, you think they're kinda cool, or you're born to drive them. I am born to drive them. My second car was a convertible. Rain decided we should sell it after we got married. I'm getting another one after I get out of school; and I will eat in it, sleep in it and have sex in it. I will be one with my car.

6. Last but not least, I don't dig needles for myself. I don't mind giving someone a shot, but I don't really care for them. Beginning of that story, I gave blood when I was 16. Pulled the needle out, held the arm up, BAM, I had a 3rd degree seizure. I woke up with wet towels all over me. LifeBlood has black balled me. End of the story, even though childbirth hurts like hell, I've always been way too scared of that needle that goes in your back for that epidural. I've never had one. I'm kinda proud of that.

7. As a bonus (and it's short, besides two people tagged me. Be glad I'm not doing 12), I love, love, love snakes. My first snake "disappeared" from my dorm room in college. Rat bastards probably flushed the little guy. Rain made me give my second snake away because he kept biting me. He name was Ra-Hee and he was beautiful. If he had only stopped biting...

Anyway, that's it. I've got to tag 6 other people. Here are the rules and who I'm tagging...

1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them & leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they have been tagged.

The last part of the tag game is to send it to six people you want to know 6 insignificant or unspectacular quirks about.

I'm tagging...

1. & 2. MommieMayhem... I love their blog. They are so cool and always have me in stiches... I want to hear from both of you...
3. MamaNeena... I just found her blog. She looks so cute and her kids are so cute I could die. Quick, go see the pic of her little girl teething...
4. TwinzieMom... I go to school with her... She's very cool. I gotta get her talkin...
5. MoreWinePlease... I love, love reading about her girls... and, her's are georgeous and so is she, and funny stuff happens over there...
6. Shan... I just found her blog as well... We fellow smart asses have to stick together...

That's it folks... If you're still with me, you are a HELL OF A TROOPER...

Oh no you didn't...

Here's a couple of good ones for ya...

Last night, I made brownies for desert. Ok, fellow OSBers... turn away for a sec... This is my weakness. So, I baked the brownies and everybody was happy. I never really feel like a brownie after I make them. Rain had bought the box of brownies, you know, deluxe, family size, 13 x 9 inch pan. I got the guys one each and they were happy as clams in sand. Rain cut himself one out, took a good look at it and said, "You know, I thought these would have baked up thicker than that since it was family size...". Yeah, it should have. I don't know why they didn't. The batter was only missing about 8 tablespoons (yes, I said tablespoons, NOT teaspoons) of batter. Shhheeezzzz. I know. Some of you may find it gross. Batter, of any kind, is my weakness.

You know I started back to school for fall. I was walking to my car and stumbled upon this...

I have no words. Duct tape can really be used for everything. I think this MAY be illegal... I can't say for sure, but I imagine their vision can't be that good with this ingenious idea...

Until something interesting falls in front of me, peace out...

What the?

I never thought I'd have to answer questions like this... Born Cool keeps throwing them at me left and right. This morning before school they were watching cartoons. He wanted to know if the cartoons I watched before school when I was a "little girl" had SOUND. Well, I've told him over and over that my favorite cartoon is the Pink Panther. Come to think of it, there wasn't much sound in that cartoon if I remember correctly. Hmmm.... Maybe he's not as crazy as I thought he was... Wait a minute, it's NOT LIKE THAT. It was in color and the other cartoons had sound. Last week, he wanted to know if we had hairdryers back in the day.

I still think he's on some mission to try to make me feel old. He's going to fail miserably.

School officially starts today. I'm excited. I get to get out of the house and get away from these little punks who are trying to ruin my mentality.

Ok... So, there's a movie coming out and I'm so excited about it, I can't see straight. I actually hit the mailbox this morning while trying to pull out of the driveway and think about this movie at the same time... Not really, but it could totally happen... Here's the link...

Righteous Kill

Don't get me wrong, I like a good chick flick. But give me a good cop/bad cop who thinks he's really doing good and I'm stuck... Not movin'... So, in light of this, here's my man of the day... I've loved him since I could walk... He can "hoo-wah" me anytime he want to...

Oh, and I've got a post on Operation Skinny Bitch... It's just my take on things...

The Village Idiot

So, here's my 'village idiot' story of the week...

A couple of weeks ago, the cigarette lighter in my car broke. I couldn't listen to my iPod in the car or charge my phone. HUGE inconviences... I decided fairly promtly that the fuse must have blown and it needed to be replaced. I gave Rain his chance to 'fix' my car. I told him, the fuse is blown in the cig lighter. Do you want to replace it? After asking three times (becasue that's my max), I decided to do it myself. It's really no big deal. Pulled out the manual and found said fuse. Changed it out and felt pretty good about the whole thing. I dug around and found the actual cig lighter and put it in the hole to see if it would pop out and be all hot and orangy and stuff. After a few seconds, I thought, hell, I'll just plug the phone charger in to see if it's fixed. Pulled out the cig lighter and looked at it in all of it's dull, grayishness and thought... hell, it's not orange. SO... I touched it. Yep, it was fixed and that sucker was HOT. Burnt the FIRE out of my fingertip. Smart, huh?

With a damaged finger print, I should have gone and robbed the nearest bank. I would have totally not gotten caught. Damn...

The smartness of fixing the thing was totally cancelled out. Then, later that night, I burnt my other hand pulling something out of the oven. Nice.

Call me 'Grace'...

Anyway, here's the man of the moment... I've mentioned before that I'm actually more into the 'older set', so here ya go. Put that hat on this man and give him that whip... Mmmmmm... Enough said.


I'm off... I've got to go practice my 'damsel in distress' sigh... Here's hoping Indy shows up... whip and all...

Soccer, Super Chick and Lipstick...

Ok. So, soccer got cancelled Friday b/c of the "torrential" rain (notice I didn't capitalize "rain", so it there really was wet stuff falling from the sky..) Whew... However, we had it Saturday. It was hot and I kinda got sunburned on my legs. I hate that; you know, when you have shorts on... Anyway, it was a small victory. I actually interacted with one of the parents. I totally agreed with him that our team's name should be the "Wild Kudzu". Our color is green. If you don't know what "kudzu" is, it's a vine that grows EVERYWHERE in the South and is totally destructive. Anyway, they went with the "Dragons"... So cliche, but whatever. I suppose things that breath fire are cool.

Super Chick and Bear (her little one) came over this weekend. She decided by the time they left that he would need a 'big rig'... aka - Optimus Prime... Then we tried to make dinner. Since I have nothing to eat, we had grilled cheese. But, she's so cool. She goes everywhere with this arsenal of fruit and 'crunchies' for the little guy. Yes, she has a boy as well. There is NO pink in my life. Even though Big Rig was eating his grilled cheese, Bear would have no part of it. It's so funny to watch her little one and remember what it was like when mine wouldn't eat anything but, oh, I don't know, cardboard for example. After grilled cheese, blueberries, strawberries, a tangelo, Bear finally decided on 'crunchies' for dinner. It's just funny...

So, Lipstick, this one is for you... On the way home from soccer, here was the conversation with Born Cool...

BC: Did you ever get Lipstick's email?
Me: What?
BC: Did you ever get Lipstick's email?
Me: Yeah... Why?
BC: I was just wondering, you know, since you went to high school with her and all.
Me: You like Lipstick, huh?
BC: Yeah.
Me: She's pretty, isn't she?
BC: Yeah, but I think she'd be a good babysitter.
Me: What?? You know she's a mom too, right?
BC: Yeah, but I think she would be fun to play games with.
Me: Oh yeah, what kind of games...
BC: I don't know; like maybe Wii games or something. Mario Cart maybe?
Me: Maybe you're right...
BC: I mean, I can already beat you on all those games. I'm just sayin'...
Me: So, you're saying I'm no good...
BC: I didn't say that. I'm just sayin'... Can we go get me a Gatorade?
Me: Ok...

He's only met you once; but apparently, you left an impression. He even totally remembered your name correctly and all...

We went to church with my dad today, so I'm just getting off to Wally World. I don't know who likes Oreo's here, but I tried the "Banana Split" Oreos. If you like the taste of banana laffy taffy, then you would like these. Super Chick says the peanut butter ones are good. I think I'll try those... I'll let you know...

I'll be back with a hot guy later. I'm meditating on who deserves their picture on my blog... If I see a hot guy at Wally World, I'll just take his pic... Later...

Gibberish speak...

I had my eyes checked less than a month ago. But, I'm just convinced that Google is trying to prepare us for some weird-type of language that'll be coming down the pipes... maybe after an alien invasion... Those stupid codes always have me squinting...

Anyway... My neighbor was carjacked last night. She was in the nearby major city. Now, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. He put a gun to her head, etc. So, through the course of the conversation, I find out he really stole a loaner because her car is at the dealer having work done. So, I guess if that was me, I'd be happy I was alive and that I have my own car. I think it's kinda funny he got the loaner. **disclaimer - I don't think this type of situation is funny and I know it's serious. However, I believe there's humor to be had in any type of situation because if not, you would be in a REAL bad way**

I've got Born Cool's soccer practice tonight. Fantastic. Outstanding. I am so excited. Call me 'soccer mom' and I'm likely to come through the screen... I have never cried because my son's team lost a game. I have never slapped my child because he missed a goal. I just sit back and watch because I think that it's those parent's who's child kicks ass... ha! I secretly like to see him kick ass. I mean, who doesn't, really? I want him to get in there and be rough and trip people. And yell in their face when he does good and they do bad. I want him to bury some kids in the grass. And, I'm soooo serious about that... kidding

Mystery Man refuses to talk about kindergarten still. I'm convinced they're running some kind of covert operation out of that classroom and the kids have all been threatened. Maybe the kids are all in it. Maybe they're making some 'special' kind of glue or maybe that's not glitter in the tubes. Maybe I need to sniff the next project that comes home real good. Or taste it. I don't know...

Born Cool's teacher threatened several times this week that her 'nice' was going away. I'm still not real sure what that means. I'm thinking she may be in need of therapy. Or maybe she needs to borrow my bottle of crazy pills.

Old Soul has had a rough start. Rain seems to think that it's my fault because of my organizational skills. He has laid out a plan and went through it step by step with me. He forgets that I'm the other parent and that I am, indeed, smarter than a 5th grader. Oh, how I do get tired of the Rain sometimes. *rolls eyes* I dropped O.S. off in the a.m.; and in the line stands his band leader (who's a cutie) and the new assistant principle (also a cutie). Anyway, I was jamming out to Shake It (Metro Station) this morning and told him I was going to wink and blow kisses that the guys. I thought he was going to start crying before I dropped him off. He knows I'd do it. Just not this morning....

Well, I'm thinking what you're about to see will dazzle and amaze you... Check it out. It's glittery and it meows... Acorn King, if you're there, I'm so not getting a bedazzler... This cat's the bomb...

For those of you that need a little more... Here's a hot guy... And, this is a REAL picture. If you're not familiar with tennis, this is Andy Roddick. I think he's flipping hot and he serves that ball at like 150 miles an hour. Super powerful and that's a HUGE turn on for me. He comes to my town for a tennis tournament. We were walking down the 'tournament hall' to his next match. I decided it would be a good photo op. I don't know why our escort (the old guy) looked at me like that. Geeeesh... We had drinks the night he lost. It's unfortunate that he's found some super model (whatever) and how they're getting married. I'm sure he'll never forget our 'special' time in ******* together...


Anyway, I'll be away contemplating whether or not to wear my Wally World trailer-trash-lace-trimmed-tight-fitting tank top to soccer practice or my designer skort set from Dillards. I just wish I could be a normal mom sometimes... ha!

And the winners are.....

I've been away. Again. Blame it on the Rain... (remember that stupid song by Milli Vinilli??) Anyway, I'll get straight to the point of tonight's post...

Hello. And Welcome. I'm glad you all could make it... This is a very special day. My super cool blog friend, Georgie, as you all know, bestowed on me this award...



Can you believe it?? Being the novice I am, I'm not sure this is COMPLETELY in order... However, I'm takin' it and runnin'... One of the stipulations is that I pass this prestigious award on to five other bloggers... So, here they are... Some of them have a lot of awards already, some not so much... ANY RATE, I've picked them because they've engaged me and/or made me laugh. Here ya go...

1. Lipstick At The Mailbox... Lipstick, thank you for opening up this whole new blog world to me... I can vent and say whatever the hell I need to and it doesn't matter because here, I can be who I really am... and, that's fun!


2. More Wine Please... You're one of the first blogs I started reading that made me giggle. I love hearing stories about your girls and I love a good cab sav. BTW... what's your fav? Mine currently is a Chilean wine whose bottle comes wrapped in a burlap sac. It's also cheap. If you haven't tried it, give it a shot and let me know what you think...


3. Mommie Mayhem... This is one I have very recently discovered... You gals make me laugh... This is a funny blog... I'm actually kinda sad to discover that Daddy Longs Legs aren't the most poisonous spider around. Oh well, I guess I can still chase the kids around with them...


4. Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars... Ok, Ok, I know you just got a bunch of awards... But, you got my attention with that 'kitchen gaget' thing... I still don't know what it is tonight; and if I don't find out soon, I may never sleep again. This guy's a funny read as well...


5. The Soccer Mom Files... You may not even know who I am but I've been reading your blog and you are hysterical. I love the whole "mom jeans bit". Reverend Doctor Kristen Valentine, you really are a comic genius...


Here's what you gotta do to get this little precious...


* Choose 5 other bloggers that you feel are “Kick Ass Bloggers”

* Let them know that they have received an award

* Link back to both the person who awarded you and also Georgie

* Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ , to get codes click here and it will take you to KABC HQ, sign Mr. Linky then pass it on!



So, that's it... Again, I'd like to thank my rockin' friend, Georgie... If you haven't checked out her blog yet, well, you have a rock for a brain... She's hilarious and has taught me some kick ass blog moves See how cool I am now... I'll need to pay tribute to the blogger that passed it on to her... MammaDawg... Also, a funny one...

Hey cool... no.. hey, wait a minute...

So, we had a Walgreens open up down the street. Super cool. Now I can really run just up the road a bit to get small stupid stuff. And, I was super psyched to get this is in the mail...

Fantastic! A cool $25 for just transferring a prescription. I ran down today and handed over my bottle of "crazy pills" for transfer. Awesome. I'll be back to get that... I was inspecting the check and read the 'fine print'....

Dang! You mean I can't get liquored up after I get those crazy pills filled?? Man, I needed some milk for da baby. Why you gotta hate on dairy, liquor and cigs?? Dang... where's the love...

Anyway, I'll be back later to pass out that award. Gotta look CLOSELY at the directions so I don't mess it up...

AND, Predator says you get people's attention with glittery things and pics of cats. Well, I have no glittery things, but check out my cats... They're SUPER cool... Don't you love me more?? Introducing Snow and Minnie... Can you figure out which is which??

Man, when I get a picture of a glittery cat, I'll be the bomb!! Hot guys seem to get attention... Here's #1 on my list... (Colin, you're hot, but here's my main man...) Joaquin, I will love you forever...

All over the place...

So, I'm all over the place tonight... First let me say, I'm pretty pathetic. It's "fend for yourself" night. I feel hard pressed to get something out before Rain gets home. Strange, isn't it... Mystery Man just ate a PB&J for dinner accompanied by those pastel, flavored marshmellows. Yeah, kid, whatever you want. Now, tell me I'm not pathetic! Mother of the year, I am not tonight...

Anyway, my super-cool-music-blog girl, Georgie, has sent me an award!! She rocks so hard; and as soon as I figure out who I'm sending it to and all that jazz, I'll have an awesome kick ass award! I know I've got people reading. It's a small group, but it's growing... You need to be commenting, so I'll know you're out there! Apparently, Colin (from previous post) got a lot of attention according to the stat people. Nobody really decided to say anything about him, except for the few that aren't scared. Maybe I was out of line on that post... Sorry about that... I don't care.

Regardless, she's also teaching me to do cool stuff like the wistful signature at the bottom. And, I'm sure before it's all done, I will have done a 'strike through'. She also posted about a market research group. Anyway, I signed up and Born Cool qualified for the survey she posted about. He's going to get a FREE, say it again, FREE video game that he gets to KEEP. Hopefully, I think it's for the Wii. I'm so super psyched about anything free that I can't see straight. If you haven't turned yourself on the to free section of the Wally World web site and you love free stuff, please so do. It's under the last tab.

I discovered something else cool... These cool little blog surveys... Interestingly enough, it's pretty correct. Except for the expensive taste. I've conditioned myself out of that since I got married - ha... not really

You are the Sense of Touch

You are a highly sensitive and easily moved person. You love to get as close to other people as possible. Human connection is very important to you. You are also likely to be an animal lover who loves animals as much as humans. In fact, you like almost anything soft! You have expensive taste in clothes and furniture. It's all about the fabric.

Which of the Five Senses Are You?

Another subject I need for you to weigh in on... My house is hot as hell and we're handwashing dishes. I'm trying to "save energy". More importantly, I'm trying to get our out of control energy bill down. Thermostat set to 78, I think that's making everybody cranky, we're pretty much living in the dark and handwashing dishes. If you've got any other ideas, let me know. I don't know how much more primitive we can get. I used a box fan while I was putting makeup today. I had to convince Born Cool that, yes, in 1987 we did have hairdryers.

Anyway, I'm a spaz today. Can't help it... Don't know what's wrong other than the fact that I'm hot... and 'strike-through' kicks ass. Thanks Georgie!! I'm off to watch my cats play with the flavored marshmellows... I love to watch them so delicately swat them around the floor, then pick them up like they're dead or something...

We're on our way...

MWP... We're on our way... Wait, he's got to finish his pre-party beer... BTW... See that arm with that red bracelet on? Yeah, that's my arm...




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Whhhheeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww.... *panting heavy* Sorry, we got distracted. Keyboard got in the way... He's in the bathroom cleaning up...



We'll be there in a sec... ;)

Friday night, woo-hoo...

So, tonight is pizza night. If you've got a Sam's Club near you, run, don't walk. They have awesome, huge pizzas that are really good and really CHEAP. I mean, I can get a cheese pizza and it feeds me and all three of my guys! It cost less than $9. It used to be less that $8, but I guess with gas to high and all, it's costing more to get them to the club. Whatever. I'm so sick of hearing that. (old man's bogus bullshit voice) "Well, you know gas has gone up; and well, we've got to increase our prices..." WHAT? You mean gas has gone up? No way. Anyway, I live for pizza night... Besides, it's the only place I can go and get a fountain CFDC (caffeine-free diet coke).

Second day of school... Better. Mystery Man actually PLAYED with three kids. Born Cool has nothing exciting to report - good; no "shut up"s today. Old Soul's actually starting to complain about the locker situation... Hmmmm... maybe I should take my lockers up there and he could have, not one, but six.

Speaking of gas prices, our Kroger is rocking with gas at $3.50. With the card - $3.47. If you've got the points, $3.40!! So, I'm in line because there's probably at least 2 cars waiting at each pump. I'm behind this monstrous truck that actually had TWO (count 'em), TWO gas tanks. Big Ass Truck. The woman driving it needed a step ladder to get in it. Anyway, I was behind her. She pulls off and BAM, this guy in a car that was in front of her totally muscles me out and takes my spot. Thanks pal. Happy *bleeping* friday...

Well, I had to break from the blog to get the pizza. Old Soul was dying to get out of the house to see his buddy. I make him watch the other minions while I run that errand. Look at what Sam's has got out already!!



Now, Halloween, really, is my favorite holiday. Simply because, you get to dress up and and be somebody or something else. Maybe I have issues, but that's okay. I LOVE to dress up as somebody else... Anyway, it got me all excited.

No, what really got me all excited was my webcam fix today... Webcams are the best invention ever...

Happy weekend y'all!!

Super Chick...

So, yesterday, I had lunch with my girl, Super Chick. That'll be her assigned name... Because she is just that... We've been running around side by side since we were 8 years old. We have the same birthday, so we've been having our birthday parties together for as long as I can remember. I think the coolest one was the one at the skating ring in 5th grade. We had some kickin' super cool clothes... I think we've only missed like one, maybe two, birthdays or something...

Anyway, I was able to break free from the house - a major deal around here. We met at our joint downtown and pigged out on some awesome burgers... She works downtown for the government. She's kickin' all kinds of ass in a testosterone dominated field. Seriously kickin' ass... I went on a business trip this past spring with her and got to watch her give a presentation about a project she's managing. I just thought it was cool that she's presenting all this stuff to this room full of mostly men that are a good 10-15 years older than us. I wanted to stand up and clap when she was done... She's my girl...

Anyway, I hope everybody has a girlfriend like that... Everybody needs one... We're more like sisters... I actually told a guy that yesterday and he believed me...

So, that's my friend gushing for the day... Like I said, everybody ought to have a girl like that...

The boys are BACK!

First off, let me say that my music soul sister, Georgie, and her blog, http://georgienba.blogspot.com/, ROCKS... She had a contest and I'm so psyched that I was the lucky winner!! Yes, people, do you hear that?? I'm a WINNER!!

Well, I feel like I've been away for eternity. This blog is my little secret - not Rain's... Anyway, he's off Monday thru Wednesday and I've known that'll knock me off my little "project" every now and then... This week happened to be that 'now and then'...

Anyway, the boys started back to school today. Here's a pic before they left this morning...



They were pretty excited, a little nervous, and a little foggy about a new school year. I picked them up today and here's the report...

Me: Mystery Man! Tell me all about your first day of kindergarden!

MM: Nah, I don't feel like it...

Me: Plllllleeeeeaaaassssseeeeee! Just tell me a little bit...

MM: Nah, my mouth is tired...

Me: Did you talk a lot?

MM: Nah...

Me: Did you talk to ANYBODY?

MM: Nah...

Me: Did you make any new friends?

MM: Nah...


Fantastic... He's just like his mother. He went in and sat back and just assessed the situation today. And, he's a little shy... I love his teacher so far, so I'm optomistic...


Me: Born Cool, how was your first day of 3rd grade?

BC: Oh, you know, it was okay...

Me: Did you talk to anybody?

BC: Yeah, I know so and so, and so and so, and so and so...

Me: Did your teacher help you put up your supplies?

BC: She did. She didn't make us do to much work today...

Me: Well, that's good for a first day...

BC: She accidently told the girl that sits beside me to "shut up"...

Me: The TEACHER did?

BC: Yeah, but it was an accident...

Me: **disgruntled face**


Ok, another vague report. Yeah, Born Cool's teacher was NOT the one I got the warm and fuzzy feeling from. It's going to be an interesting year? However, I'm reserving judgement. I've made plenty of mistakes. I know I've told my kids to 'shut up' before. I'd probably be pissed if that girl was mine... So, we'll see...


Me: Old Soul, how was the first day on top? (8th grade...)

OS: Oh, it was fine. I've got someone I know in all my classes. My teachers all seem pretty nice and I dropped off all my supplies except science but that was because I couldn't get to my locker. We have scheduled locker times and I just didn't know. I'll get it to them tomorrow.

Me: Great! I'm glad you had a good first day...

OS: Yeah, the school said they ordered new lockers. Some people are having to share lockers...

Me: What??

OS: Yeah, I'm on of those people...

Me: WHAT??

OS: I'm sharing with a girl.

Me: WHAT??

OS: It'll be okay mom. Don't get mad. They ordered them back in May. They just haven't gotten here yet...

Yep, that's Old Soul. A full and completely detailed report... Not real happy with the whole locker situation, but I guess ranting and raving won't get them here any faster... I'm not worried about OS. I never worry abut him... He's like a 40 year old in a 13 year old's body...


So, school's off to a decent start, I guess. If MM will talk to some other kids and make some friends, I'll feel better. If BC doesn't get cussed by his teacher at school tomorrow, I'll feel better. If OS falls in love with the girl he's sharing lockers, she better damn well be a good egg...

Ok, off to another post on a different topic... I've got catching up to do...

Uuuuuggggg....

Open House for everyone is tonight. It's time to take the school supply lists to Wally World today I think. I'm dreading it. I'll go by myself to fight the madness alone... Any other time of the year, I'm all for perusing the office/school supply isle. 23 isles of office/school supplies is too much for me to handle. It's like pencil overload...

Born Cool initiated some board game fun last night. We operated on Homer Simpson and followed that with a game of Trouble. He, Mystery Man and I played and no one cheated. Mystery Man and I followed up with a card game of War. Old Soul flipped out because the Guitar Hero disc wouldn't work. He was having a fit on Born Cool because he thought he damaged the disc. B.C. was calm an told his older brother several times he'd put the disc in wrong. Nope, Old Soul was not hearing any of this. He was certain B.C. has ruined it. Anyway, I looked up and told him to take the disc out. It was in backwards. Oh, how I love sibling rivalry. This was all after going to the pool. Again. They're probably not, but I'm completely water-logged.

So, ever have one of those moments when you just want to crawl under a rock and die? Sure, we all do. Yesterday, this guy from a local company comes by to give us a $20 gas card. All we have to do is sit through his demonstration. He comes in the house and hasn't had any air in his car, so he's hot and nervously worked up. I gave him a glass of water and he's trying to calm himself down. Through surface discussion, Rain finds out what he's selling. Well, a college buddy of Rain's sold these things; and he immediately decides he's not sitting through this demonstration. After a really awkward "talk", I had my tail tucked between my legs and ushered the man to our door. Rain basically kicked him out. I told him I was sorry. I was mortified. And, I didn't get my gas card. Ever thought you married someone SO opposite of you, it's literally painful? I thought sitting there for around 40 minutes would have totally been worth that little gas card. And, no, I would not have bought the product. Maybe this is just a man/woman issue? Regardless, it was my painful moment. Lesson learned.

So, one of my buddies is doing a giveaway. I haven't run across one of these yet and think it's super fun! Check it out... http://georgienba.blogspot.com/2008/08/giveaway15-amazon-gcgiveaway.html. It ends tonight, so get moving!

Escort Monday in with a smile?

So, the weekend's over. This is not a big deal to me today. However, in a week, it will be. The guys go back to school this Thursday. Rain works Thursday through Sunday; so this Thursday, the kids will be in school and Rain will go to work. Heck yeah! I'll get two glorious weeks before I go back to school.

This was a good, productive weekend. Couple of victorious moments, a 'crap, I knew that would happen' moment, and a near death experience (not really, but it was scary). Victories first - I fixed the fuel lines on the weed eater, wound the twine on the weed eating head correctly and weed eated. I do all the yard work (cut, edge, blow), except weed eating. I hate it. I always have something fly up and cut one of my legs. However, Rain had not seen fit to do it in like a month or something grotesque... The 'crap, I knew it would happen' moment - yep, a rock flew up and cut my leg while weed eating. The near death experience - I decided to sand and clean my lockers to get them ready to paint. Well, I drug them out of the garage and was happily cleaning away in the 110 degree heat index. Then, I decided to move them to a more level ground. Yeah, they fell over. Fantastic. Some guy moving grass at the house for sale across the street drove over and helped me.

I told Rain about the whole weed eating experience. He said that even after all these years, he's still learning things about me. I told him that even after all these years, I'm still being forced to learn to do new things because he won't get off his ass. He thought that was funny. Yeah, me too. NOT.

Anyway, I took the guys to the pool at the Y Sunday for a few hours after the morning trip to Wally-World. Here they are after a few hours of fun in the sun...

See how happy and tired they look? Awesome! Mission accomplished...

Anyway, welcome Monday. You're bringing a week I've been waiting for... Is it just me or is everybody ready for their kids to go back to school?

Kickin' it old school... kinda...

So, while in American Eagle the other day, I heard a song that sounded familiar. It reminded me of another time...

When I was in fourth grade, I had this bad ass tape player...

I brought it to school and would play this newly released, super cool tape...

Man, I thought I was so super cool. I got in trouble for playing it at snack time. The grouchy teacher said I could only play it at recess. Where was the love?? And, we used to have that wax candy that had that juice inside it. We would chew them up and form the wax in to fake nails. Gross, huh?

Back to shopping in A.E... (Yeah, for the record, I'm a clearance rack shopper only in that joint) Anyway, I was listening and I realized I was listening to a remake of "Beat It". You've probably heard it. If you haven't, check it out on that playlist to your right. It's by Fall Out Boy. I don't know how you feel about Pete Wenz, but he doesn't do too bad of a job. Personally, he wears a little too much eyeliner for me and he's a little young... I'm more a fan of the older set... Anyway, if you're from the "Thriller" era, weigh in on this for me, would ya?

So, as far as my playlist goes, I'm going to comment on a few of the songs... Buttons and Promiscuous Girl - if these don't make you want to dance around your house (possibly on your kitchen table) like the MILF you know you are, then I don't know what would... Shut Up and Apologize are some of my theme songs... Come Undone and Sadness - damn, just give me a black light in a room with a black poster board bed and a white comforter and a hot guy... Meet Virginia - pretty sure I'm her long lost sister (as well as the other 1,000 women who think that because, although Pat Monahan is short, he's hot)... Right now, I just can't get enough of the Jason Mraz song, I'm Yours... When me and the guys get in the car, they ask if I'm going to put in my 'happy song'... It's just so carefree and island-like and cool... "well, you done done me and you bet I felt it... I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted..." yeah, you know who you are...

I'm curious as to what you're into right now. So, let me know what moves you. I might end up finding something else that moves me... I'm always on the look-out...

BTW, for y'all from the "Thriller" era... My, how time changes things???? This is a current pic from his site, I think. He really does kinda look like a young Liz Taylor or something? Sorry if you're a fan. I won't judge; you don't either...

Duh. Duh. Double Duh.

So, the sitemeter thing freaked me out. While searching for the answer, I learned that this whole "blogging" thing is a lot easier that it seems. Yeah, if you 'upgrade your template' which I have not done. I've been sitting here trying to "get" html. Regardless, I've upgraded now and things are MUCH easier - ha! I've just got to remember how things were now...

I was watching the guys play a SpongeBob Life game last night. It was pretty much their first run on their own. I decided to stay out of it and see how it went. Old Soul decided to be the bank much to the dismay of Born Cool. So, they're playing... Mystery Man is paying attention to everything except the game - playing with whatever was on the carpet that should have already been vacuumed up, looking down his pants (making sure everything was still there, I guess) and everything else little boys do. Old Soul was watching every move Born Cool made because he is, by nature, a little sneaky. He was right on the verge of accusing B.C. of cheating until B.C. turned and looked at him and said, "I'm NOT cheating. I'm playing with my brothers, NOT my parents". Oh yeah, I'll have to watch for that next time I'm in the game.

I guess boys learn innately to look down their pants and squeeze themselves at an early age. I remember when Old Soul was, I don't know, 3 or so. He'd kill me for saying all this as he is a teenager now. He was standing there peeing and, in a panic, called for me. I rushed in and he had this look of pure scared confusion. So, I'm like "what's wrong baby?!" Well, he lifted up his "winky" and points to the "boys" and goes, "What are THESE?" I don't know. I guess it was the first time he'd ever really noticed them? I tried real hard not to laugh, but I probably didn't succeed. I used to be embarrassed at how boys are constantly feeling themselves up when they're small. I got over it pretty quick. I guess those of you with boys can relate. Always with the "Do you have to pee?"... "No..." "Then, why are you holding yourself like you do?" "I don't know..." Yeah, they're funny....

I took this with the phone the other day. Isn't she pretty?