Your Monthly Miracle

So, real quick... I ran across this ad from a company called C'elle... Their ad is tagged with "Your Monthly Miracle"... Well, I couldn't help not click on it.

Apparently, you can harvest stem cells during your monthly miracle. Because, you might want to live forever and stuff. Stem cells apparently, can help with this. You can buy the kit, harvest the cells and pay a yearly storage fee.

Here's the deal. This has got to be a company full of nothing but men. Oh, yeah, it's a monthly miracle. It's a monthly miracle I don't freakin kill somebody during that "special time"... I know, I know... It really is cool to think that you could make a baby, but damn, otherwise, it's a royal pain.

Anyway, you can purchase the kit for a mere $699. I believe the yearly storage fee is around $100. Once again people, here's the deal. If you think I'm going to buy this expensive ass kit and "harvest" stem cells which, by the way, can not be a pleasant experience, you are crazy... I'm all for stem cell research provided it's not from abortions. They're in bones and umbilical cords, etc so just get them there.

So, how about this. I will contribute to stem cell research and I'll do this. However, you are going to pay me gobs and gobs of money. I think I've just found a way to get rich... I mean, all the money that's spent on this type of research... Shhhheah. Maybe I've just talked myself into it...

On the other hand, I went to Wally World today. And, I got a really LOUD cart... which didn't bother me so much today. I had my ipod in and people needed to be able to hear me coming because, Lord knows, I couldn't hear them. Turned out to be a really fantastic tactic. I'm going to put that one in my back pocket...

Here comes the week... Are you buckled in?? BTW... Can I put my costume on already??

Popular Mechanics...

Now, I read stuff like Cosmo or Glamour because I'm always trying to figure out a new way to make my hair more sexy or figure out how to make my eye's really "pop"... And, the sex tips... Although they are very repetitive, what a plethora of information... With three boys running around, I learned real quick that I can't leave them lying around or I've got an 8 year old walking around going, "Hey mom, did you read about how long men really want sex to last?". Fantastic. So, I hide these magazines. Like they're Playboys or something... I hide them in our bathroom with the hunting magazines and such... Here's a new magazine that's popped up in our bathroom...



I wonder if Rain has put this here, hinting that I don't know how to do enough stuff. Like, how to escape a sinking car or how to shoot straight or how to make shelter in the Amazon. We've checked the list. He can accompolish about 5. I've got him beat with 93... No, I'm kidding. I just like giving him a hard time...

Anyhow, we're stocked up on our halloween costumes. I started apocolypse when I brought home my costume the other day without anything for them. So, we visited this super cool halloween store yesterday, and now, we're all really scary. Well, I'm more vampy than scary, but you know. It's what Cosmo has taught me.

Anyone else totally ready to put on their costume right now?? Geeze.... I know I am...

The oldest man...

So, the oldest man turns 113 today. That's amazing. I'm not so sure I want to be here that long honestly. I had a great-great grandmother that died at 104. I just remember how fraile and fragile she was. She couldn't do a whole lot. I remember at six, or however old I was, that I felt sorry for her. So, I haven't decided if I want to die in my sleep or in some firey explosion. I guess we'll see...

Sorry, didn't mean to get off on the whole death tangent. You know, good luck to you 113 year old man and all. Hope you have another happy birthday "and many more"... K?

I watched a 5 year old soccer game tonight. Actually, I had to help with the bench. I find it liberating to get on to other people's kids for an hour or so. Because I like kinda being bi-polar with them. It's mostly the boys. Like, one minute, be all.... "Sit down or you're going to fall." They're like, "No I won't"... Then, I'm like "Yeah, you will if I push you off the back of the bench, huh?"... I like snatching things away from them telling them that they're going to get really bad germs if they don't stop touching things. And, then, I like being all... "Wow, you did so good in the game. You're just a great little soccer player, aren't you?".... "You're so sweet" And smiling and picking at them and so forth... I know it's a little twisted, but some of these kids, damn. I like to go up against one that thinks they're not going to listen to me. Right. Like you're going to win. This one kid was all dancing on the field when he was supposed to be on the bench. I kept telling him to get back on the bench.... Snapping my fingers and pointing to the bench with the REALLY wide eyes and all. It would take a few tries, but he'd come over. I hope his mom was watching... What's she going to do? Tell me not to discipline her ill-behaved kid? Now, Mystery Man got his share of discipline as well. I really try to spread my discontentment evenly.... A little unbalanced, I know. Maybe I should up my med dose. But, that is just the kind of mood I was in tonight. Be really nice to the parents and then stick my tongue out at their kids when they turn around. Ha Ha!

So, that was my entertainment for the night. Don't tell me you don't have some off the wall twisted pleasure of your own. And, I'm not talking about the ones behind closed doors either.... Wow, don't get me started on that... (hehe)

Peace out until I find more kids to screw with...

I suck, I know...

What's up people???? I'm making several posts to catch up...

I know. I'm pathetic... I just got so used to being at home and having measly classes; then along came this semester, and POOF.... I'm more of a crazy mad woman than I usually am... I have NO time anymore. None. It's absolutely gone. And, I. am. going. mad. Just to defend myself, I'm in clinicals MWF now. And, it is CRAZY COOL!!!! I have seen the coolest as shit cases this week. I would love to sit here an bore you with all the details, but I'm way too scared of HIPA. However, I've gotten in with all the electrophysiology people due to my "story"... which is exactly where I want to be. However, I'm studing my ass off to make sure they don't try to move me from the EP labs because it's "too complicated"...

Things are crazy as ever here... Today, Born Cool asks me... "If God only just created Adam or just Eve, who do you think would have invented electricity?" The questions are still coming...

MWP, I have a good quote for you. My brother spit this out for whatever reason the other day. I can't remember. I had a Bud Light Lime in my hand... Anyway, this is for you... "Wine a little bit. It'll make you feel better..." He said that and I almost spit out in front of Rain, "Hey, I gotta tell MWP about that"...

Just to let you know, I've been thinking about all of you guys, and everybody's kids, etc. It's funny how you make friends from Lord knows where and you hold them near and dear. That's as mushy as I get. Unless you've already read the facebook posting.

I took the guys to guys to the zoo party again... I'll put up a few pics... Old Soul is "too old" for these kind of shinanigans... So, here's BC and MM...


We went with Super Chick and Bear...


I decided to have a beer. I walked up to the Bud truck and who was standing there?? My cousin!!


And, yep, I was one of the very few out there with my kids AND a beer...


Anyway, that's all I got for this one... I've got to hurry up and catch up with you guys...

Testosterone overload

Ok, so I'll tell about a conversation I had with Born Cool tonight. Now, it's no secret I'm boy crazy. I love me some testosterone. However, I get tired of dealing with the testosterone that floods this house on a daily basis. I'm the only girl; and well, my only solace is doing something in the yard or something...

Here's goes...

Me: BC, you want chili?
BC: Sure
Me: Ok, here ya go. You want crackers and cheese and sour cream?
BC: Yeah. Can you bring it in here?
Me: Ok (WTF - am I your maid)... Oh wait, we're out of sour cream. Do you just want cheese and crackers in it.
BC: silence
Me: Hey, did you hear me? What do you want?
I go into living room where he is sulking on the couch with his chili in front of him on a TV tray
Me: Did you hear me? What do you want?
BC: Nothing. Why did you eat all the sour cream?
Me: We all did the other night we ate chili. It's just gone.
BC: Well, go check the refrigerator again.
Me: I did, SON. I guess you don't want anything else...
BC: Well, I GUESS not.
Me: (completely fed up at this point) You know, you don't have to be an ass to me because all the sour cream is gone. I gave you everything else you wanted.
BC: (sits up and OPENS eyes) What? Why did you just call me that? Did you just call me an A-double S?
Me: Well, you just should stop acting like one. How do you expect me to be a good mother if all you do is gripe and complain??
BC: It'll be fine without the sour cream.

Huffy mom walks away

So, you see how things are going around here?? I'm losing my mind.

I'm bAAAAAcccckkkk...

So, my computer has been down. It's up and runnin' now, so I've got so much catching up to do it ain't even FUNNY!

This soccer thing is really starting up and I'm knee deep in plaid-printed capri-panted moms. I'm kinda scared. Not that I have anything against capri pants. They are really cute on some people. So, don't hate me if you wear them. They just don't look right on me. And, while you may be normal, I haven't really met anyone normal that's wearing them. I admire mom's that are on the PTO and PTA and stuff. And, buy the pizza on the fund-raising nights and sell lots of magazines to raise money for the cause. I do collect Box Tops... I collect a whole hell of a lot of them. That would probably really benefit one of my kid's class if I didn't take them and sell them on ebay... hehe...

School is gearing up for me as well. I started clinicals Wednesday. They actually let me perform half of an open heart surgery. Not really. No, during one of the cases, I yelled "CLEAR" really loud just because I thought it would be funny. Not really. But, that would be FUNNY AS HELL... But, I'd probably get walked out. No, for real, it was pretty cool. I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow. I hear they're going to let me place a couple of stents. Not really.

I don't even remember when I posted last. So much has happened since then. The guys are constant with they're jargon... Born Cool said at the dinner table the other night, "I'm as hungry as a cat that hasn't even eaten. And, I'm 86." Ok, see how well my kids are cared for... Mystery Man explained how he was taking clay and setting it on some type of battery thing with red and green wires in class the other day. I don't know. Sounds like a bomb to me. And, of course, Old Soul is all about talking about "chickin biscuits for breaskfastes at 11 o'clock in the mornin..." ? I don't know what's going on.

We went to one of Rain's friend's farm for Labor Day. I don't know how everybody else's Labor Day was, but I witnessed the massacare of probably thousands of doves. Kinda sad. I think Rain killed like two or something. (hehe) All I know is that I caught more fish than he killed birds. I, however, set my fish free to swim away to their families. I imagine there was nothing left of anyone's family in the dove world. I tried to take a couple more kittens home from the farm. I didn't work. But, I think if I press the issue, Rain may divorce me.

I took the kids to another zoo party. Members only. Damn, we are special. It was another good time to be had by all. I decided this time I was going to get myself a beer while my kids swam in bacteria infested waters. So, I went up to the huge Bud Light truck and who was standing there?? My cousin. Yep. Could have been all the free bud light I could have wanted. However, with no driver and the kids, I digresssed and was responsible. I only had like 10 or 12 beers or something... hehe...

Anyway, I don't really have anything interesting to report. I probably almost had some regulars until I flaked out. Well, until my computer flaked out. So, I'm back. I'll probably spend all day tomorrow catching up on you guys...

Peace out...