Thursday, September 18, 2008

The oldest man...

So, the oldest man turns 113 today. That's amazing. I'm not so sure I want to be here that long honestly. I had a great-great grandmother that died at 104. I just remember how fraile and fragile she was. She couldn't do a whole lot. I remember at six, or however old I was, that I felt sorry for her. So, I haven't decided if I want to die in my sleep or in some firey explosion. I guess we'll see...

Sorry, didn't mean to get off on the whole death tangent. You know, good luck to you 113 year old man and all. Hope you have another happy birthday "and many more"... K?

I watched a 5 year old soccer game tonight. Actually, I had to help with the bench. I find it liberating to get on to other people's kids for an hour or so. Because I like kinda being bi-polar with them. It's mostly the boys. Like, one minute, be all.... "Sit down or you're going to fall." They're like, "No I won't"... Then, I'm like "Yeah, you will if I push you off the back of the bench, huh?"... I like snatching things away from them telling them that they're going to get really bad germs if they don't stop touching things. And, then, I like being all... "Wow, you did so good in the game. You're just a great little soccer player, aren't you?".... "You're so sweet" And smiling and picking at them and so forth... I know it's a little twisted, but some of these kids, damn. I like to go up against one that thinks they're not going to listen to me. Right. Like you're going to win. This one kid was all dancing on the field when he was supposed to be on the bench. I kept telling him to get back on the bench.... Snapping my fingers and pointing to the bench with the REALLY wide eyes and all. It would take a few tries, but he'd come over. I hope his mom was watching... What's she going to do? Tell me not to discipline her ill-behaved kid? Now, Mystery Man got his share of discipline as well. I really try to spread my discontentment evenly.... A little unbalanced, I know. Maybe I should up my med dose. But, that is just the kind of mood I was in tonight. Be really nice to the parents and then stick my tongue out at their kids when they turn around. Ha Ha!

So, that was my entertainment for the night. Don't tell me you don't have some off the wall twisted pleasure of your own. And, I'm not talking about the ones behind closed doors either.... Wow, don't get me started on that... (hehe)

Peace out until I find more kids to screw with...



4 comments:

Da Old Man said...

It's fun to torture other people's kids for a while. That's why I became a teacher.

Kirsten said...

Who doesn't like torturing other people's kids!!

Mommie Mayhem said...

fun times !! LOL how the heck are ya ??

Shan said...

Reminds me of my favorite part in the movie Hand That Rocks The Cradle, when the nanny goes to the school and threatens the bully, I so wish I coulda done that a couple times when my kids where little. That became my joke, don't make me get all Hand That Rocks The Cradle on your ass!